Fuck A Number

Naked Rebel November 29, 2012 0

 

This past Sunday, me and my home-girl were lounging around watching TV movies, and the film “What’s Your Number” starring Anna Faris aired. The film is based on the Karyn Bosnak novel 20 Times A Lady.  Here is a brief summary of the film:  Anna Faris (Ally Darling) discovers that she’s had sex with 20 guys. Twenty is way above average according to a magazine article Ally and her friends read. She then goes on a mission to rekindle old flames to avoid adding to her number. The romantic comedy was predictable, as most are, but it left my friend and I with lingering thoughts. How many guys have we boned over the years?

This isn’t the first time this thought has come to my mind. All my ladies know that awkward conversation that usually takes place with a new boy toy. The new guy somehow always ends up asking, “So how many guys have you had sex with?” At that point, you know that you don’t want to tell him you don’t know how many because that sounds slutty, but if you say a number too low, he will think you’re lying. Let’s face it, my sex skills are too damn awesome for a guy to think I’ve only fucked three guys. A lightening bolt from the heavens will come down and strike me down before I could even finish uttering the number “Thr…” so I usually just say seven. Seven is a lucky number, and this Rebel loves to get lucky!

Now back to the question at hand. We decided to get out a piece of paper and write down our list starting from the day that our cherry popped to the last time we hopped on a cock. It’s not as easy as you would think! In the words of Mitt Romney, “ I had a binder full of [wo]men!” Whenever I thought I was finished, I would remember some lame ass lay that wasn’t even worth my time. Anyway, the list was compiled.  I felt bad about myself, but only for a second. The list I had created turned into a database of men! I quickly snapped back to my senses. Who the FUCK cares about whom all I’ve sexed over the years? This is my pussy and I can do with it as I please! Women didn’t fight for liberation and go through all that shit in the 1960s for this kind of judgment bullshit!

I’m about to start a burning panties movement and tell all those judgmental tools to fuck off! As far as I’m concerned, and as long as my pussy is still tight, wet, and STD free..nobody should give a damn about my number. In conclusion ladies, keep that coochie tight, no love without a glove, and fuck whomever you want. A true Rebel doesn’t give a damn what anyone thinks!

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