My New Year’s Sexolutions

Naked Rebel January 29, 2013 0

December 31, 2012 (11:30 p.m.) - I was at a lame New Year’s Eve party, and somewhere between my fourth or fifth shot I realized I hadn’t made any resolutions for the upcoming New Year. I usually think that shit is a dumb. How many years have I vowed to stop having one night stands, and I end up boning some random piece of ass as soon as the clock strikes 12:30 a.m.? Plenty.

However I began thinking of the whole resolution thing from a different angle. What if I vowed to spice up my already  scintillating sex life?  What if I created “sexolutions” for myself instead of resolutions? I pulled out my phone and started compiling my list of 2013 sexolutions.

  • Pick-up yoga and do more cardio. This isn’t because I want to be in tip top shape. I just want to be in shape enough that I can ride a dick long enough without getting winded. Also, I need to be more flexible to do splits on dicks.
  • Stop faking orgasms. I need to stop rewarding bad behavior.
  • Trying a butt plug on a guy. Kinky, I know. Just between you and me…men looove ass play!
  • Purchasing more lingerie. Usually I’m completely naked in .03 seconds from the beginning of foreplay, but lingerie adds a touch of class.
  • Exercise more often. Now you know I’m not a health nut. I’m talking about kegel exercises. This pussy has miles on it. Sometimes it needs a little tune-up!
  • Take birth control regularly. Self-explanatory.
  • Buried treasures. I have bondage equipment and toys just collecting dust. I’m ready to get my S&M on.

So far I’ve only accomplished 2.5 things on the list. I bought  some sexy little lingerie. The sad part is that nobody even fuckin’ cared. I take my clothes off ready for compliments and I get NOTHING. After sex one guy said, “Hey your panties were cute by the way.” That’s it? Fuck that, I’m not spending anymore money on bullshit lingerie.

I have started working out daily. Okay, I haven’t stepped one pinky toe in the gym. I’ve been doing my kegel exercises regularly. My vagina can grip a hard cock so tight that I have men melting right in my hands.

I tried to pull out my bondage  equipment last week. The dude wasn’t a big fan a kink. His absolute limit was letting me handcuff him as I gave him A BJ…wimp.

January is almost over but you still have time to create your 2013 sexolutions. What do you want to change about your sex life in 2013? Please comment about it below. Personally, I need more open-minded kinky men on my team to continue my quest. If you are one of them holler at me on my twitter @nakedrebel ;)

 

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