All Is Fair in Love, War, and Sex

Bubba Hemingway July 24, 2013 0

At least once week in the office, someone will come up with a topic of discussion and it becomes this huge conversation or debate. This time the topic had to do with what guys liked during sex; Do straight guys like their asshole fingered or licked, who likes to eat pussy, who would lick a girls toes, etc. The answers would surprise you.

When the topic of a straight man having his asshole licked, fingered, or touched in any way came up, all the guys responded in uproar. One claimed that a chick caught him off guard in the heat of the moment and he reacted like a fish out the water. Now, it has been said, and apparently proven, that stimulation of the prostate enhances the male orgasm. That may be true, however, I’ll admit that my ex-wife tried using me as a guinea pig one time many years ago while giving me head. She tickled my asshole and instantly I put her in an arm bar. She started cracking up, but I wasn’t into it. She kept at it while she cracked up, so now this is a joke to her. I’m pleading with her and putting just a little pressure on her arm until she tapped out and went back to giving me normal head. I don’t think it’s gay or anything, it’s just not my thing. However, I will say this with the utmost hypocrisy; I love fucking girls in the ass. Yeah, I said it! Ladies, get over it. If you let me fuck you in the ass, that’s your problem not mine. I however detest anything going into my ass.

We they started discussing eating a girl’s pussy. The majority of us agreed that we love eating girls out. Some said she’s gotta be showered or “clean”, and I don’t entirely disagree, however, in the heat of the moment, if the sex is good, things will happen where you don’t even think. Now don’t try to use what I just said against me and say “well, a finger in your ass was the heat of the moment” because it’ll kill said moment. Then we upped the ante of this sub-topic and brought up licking a girl’s ass and toes. The opinions were mixed, but one dude said that it’s not okay licking a girl’s ass cause that’s where shit comes out of. Another said that he’ll lick just a little. As far as toes go, the majority are nay-sayers. But some women are a little sub-concsience about their feet, so don’t force feed yourself because you may end up getting kicked in the grill. Me personally, I’ve sucked on a few women’s toes here and there. And if I can’t eat her, I can’t fuck her. When I’m really into the moment, there isn’t any part of a woman’s body I won’t put my mouth and tongue on. I think I even licked a girl’s armpit once. Then again, I’m a freak with a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen.

In all seriousness though, different strokes for different folks. Opinions are like assholes and everybody has got one. If a dude likes his booty hole played with, that is his business and no-one else’s. If dudes don’t like going down on chicks or don’t like licking the brown-eye or toes, then it’s also their business. However fellas, you gotta eat your lady out. Sometimes you just gotta have an appetizer before the main course. At the end of the day, as long as everybody gets to cum, that’s all that really matters. Wipe your ass with what everyone says or calls you and get freaky because all is fair in love, war, & sex. Until next time my fellow freaks.

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