Food To Get You In The Mood

Naked Rebel August 6, 2013 0

In Greek mythology Aphrodite was known as the Olympian goddess of love, pleasure, and procreation. Similarly, aphrodisiacs are substances that are widely thought to increase sexual arousal. There aren’t any major scientific findings that conclusively prove that aphrodisiacs truly get people in the mood to fuck. However, these foods couldn’t have created a long held reputation for spiking arousal if it wasn’t true, right? Personally, I like to take the “anything helps” approach when it comes to getting laid; I suppose many of you take that approach as well. The top 5 foods to get your beau in the mood are listed below.

AVOCADO

Since ancient Mayan times, the avocado has been linked to sexual desire. The Aztec word for avocado is “Ahuacuatl”  which means testicle. Aztecs believed that the avocado resembled testicles when hanging in a pair on a tree and that it was a sexual stimulant. Across the world in Spain, Catholic priests outlawed avocados because of the fruits’ provocativeness. I guess it had something to do with the avocado’s mushy, creamy, delicious inside.

 CHOCOLATE

We all know Valentine’s Day is just another day  ”The Man”  created to capitalize off us poor schmucks. Men go in droves to CVS to purchase the finest chocolates for their special someone on this day. However, there may be a silver lining to this whole commercialized Valentine’s day chocolate rush. Chocolate contains serotonin which is the chemical linked to making humans happy.  Happy chick means a happy dick.

OYSTERS

It is common knowledge that there’s something about oysters that gets pussies wet and cocks hard. “But why is this so”, you ask? Well Casanova himself was said to consume these slimy delicacies by the dozens. Oysters resemble the female genitalia. Additionally, they contain loads of zinc. Lack of zinc is linked to male impotence. Oysters are served best with champagne. Lots of champagne.

BANANAS

Remember in middle school health class when you had to put a condom on a banana to learn how to properly use contraception? That was because a bananas are cock shaped. Bananas much like cucumbers or carrots are considered phallic symbols. I personally can’t contain myself when I watch a hot slut scarf down a banana. So would I consider it an aphrodisiac? You’re damn right I do!

HOT PEPPERS

Time to bring on the heat and spice things up! The capsaicin in peppers are what makes them spicy. Capsaicin boosts your heart rate and body temperature. With blood pumping more freely through your body, your sex organs also gain that benefit as well. Increased blood flow to your nether regions lead to…well you can draw your own conclusion.

 

If you’re reaaaaalllly trying to get laid I suggest that you you make dinner with all of these aphrodisiacs. Start off with oysters as an appetizer. For the main course make a spicy chicken salad topped with avocados (see where I’m going with this???). Finish the meal off with tasty chocolate dipped bananas. You will have her panties down to her ankles in .2 seconds.

 

 

 

 

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