9 Things You Need To Stop Doing To Get Laid: Men

SocialSlut October 9, 2013 0

There’s a lot of you out there with a lot of love to give and no one to give it to. If you do any of these below, STOP IT NOW and increase your chances of getting some.

This blog is for the fella’s. Ladies, I’m coming for you next.

1. Biting Your Nails

This seems like an obvious hygiene no-no yet still so many people are putting their dirty fingers in their mouths! If a girl sees you with jagged nails, you think she wants those up her puss? NOPE! Invest in a nail file and leave your mouth free for muff diving.

2. Wearing Cargo Shorts

While they might be convenient, these shorts are terribly ugly. I don’t care if you need all those pockets for all your stuff, quit wearing cargo shorts and you’ll have a better shot of bagging a girl friend who will let you put your shit in her purse.

3. Over Grooming

Men should be manly.. and sometimes that means hairy! I’m not saying not to trim or maintain, in fact PLEASE trim your pubic hair. But if you’re shaving it along with your chest and arms every day, then you’ve probably got less hair than half the women you’re going after. And that shit just isn’t attractive.

4. Leavin’ Off The “G” Of Everythin’

E-NUN-CI-ATE damnit! If a girl sees you are lazy with your tongue, you might not get the chance to show us it doesn’t affect your oral performance.

5. FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out

Guys love being with their buddies, it’s a known fact. But there’s a fine line between bro time and FOMO. If you’re constantly at a sausage party because you have to play GTA5 for the 14th straight day, you’re not missing out on anything other than possible pussy.

6. Smoking

As an occasional smoker, I say this with a little reluctance. Personally, I won’t go after someone if they don’t smoke to avoid the judgmental stare should I feel like a smoke. But when you smoke, you turn non-smokers away. So if you’re trying to get some, put down the cig so you don’t miss out on some sexy anti-smoker.

7. Over Application Of Cologne

We like a good smelling man, but we shouldn’t be able to smell you from across the room.

8. Bragging

Too many guys feel the need to tell women why they’re such a catch. If you’re a catch, we’ll figure it out. Don’t talk yourself up. It’s one thing to be confident, it’s another to be cocky. On that note, certainly don’t brag about your cock. Let it speak for itself. Talking it up is like asking for it to let us down.

9. Drinking Like You’re Still In College

Remember when it was cool to shot gun beers with your friends? You’d all race to see who would finish first and after you crushed your can and grunted with glory, some fine college slut would throw her arms around you and you’d both yell to your victory. THIS ISN’T COLLEGE. Being sweaty and too drunk at a bar doesn’t make any girl think “I should go home with that guy, he’s a tank!”

 

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